My Cash Back Wish

A man was walking on the beach and tripped over an old lamp.

He picked it up and rubbed it and... a genie jumped out and said:
"OK, OK, you have freed me from the lamp, blah, blah, blah!
Forget that story about the three wishes!
You got one wish and that's it, period!

Do you understand?"
The man sat down, thought for a minute and replied:

Yes, Genie, I Do...

You know I am sick and tired of not getting the money I deserve for all the work I do...for the money I have invested since the beginning of this new century...and sick and tired of investing money in projects like the Madoff pyramid schema and not getting my money back and never making any real money....
I work hard and my retirement is dwindling down to nothing.
Like Will Rogers said, 'it is not the "return on my investment I am worried about, it is the return of my money invested.'

I have invested in MLM pyramid projects that have made a few a lot of money and the greater number of people hardly made any money at all.

This is what I want. It is all based on buying what I want. Not what someone else wants.

I want a CASH BACK program so that when I spend money the vendor pays me back and deposits it in my bank account.
You know like what you get with the grocery store coupons.

I want one (1) cash back loyalty rewards card that I can use at all stores for anything I purchase.

If I spend $100 you can see on the cash register receipt that you saved $17.43.
I am so happy when I see that, that's very rewarding with a rewards card from the store.

But that is only for one store.
So how I envision it to work is when I buy groceries, shoes, go out to dinner, buy office supplies, buy gas for my car....you know anything I buy I want cash back. And, I will not
be too greedy. I just want 1% or 2% cash back deposited in my account every week at 5:00am when I get up.
And, send me a text or email to let me know how much money has been deposited.

I also want loyalty rewards paid back to me in my bank account like I had when I was growing up. Just enough, somewhere between 1% and 30% of what I purchased
that will make me want to return to the store and buy more from the company.

Then when my loyalty rewards that were deposited in my bank account, (like when a piggy bank gets full)
I want a check sent to me for at least $675. Then I want to start filling the piggy bank again and again and again
and get a check for at least double each time the piggy bank gets full.

Now as I purchase more and more and more, and the piggy bank gets cracked open again and again, I want my check to be more and more and more. You can max out my check at $24,000, but when I fill my piggy bank up and it is full I want a check every time if fills up for $24,000.

Also, when I tell others about how my cash back program works, I want those I tell about this cash back loyalty rewards program to receive the same cash back and loyalty rewards that I receive. Now I am not asking too much, but for all the purchases made by those that I recommend and refer to my cash back program,
I want 1/2% cash back loyalty rewards from their purchases. That is not asking tooooo much, is it?

One more thing, for those that I bring into the cash back program, when these new cash back members bring their friends and acquaintenances,
I also want to earn another 1/2 on their purchases when they buy from the network of companies in the cash back program. Can you do this too?

Now what you can do Genie, is you can figure out at least seven (7) additional ways that I can earn cash back, loyaty rewards, bonuses, etc. etc. etc. You do not have to explain
it to me, just deposit the cash back, loyalty rewards, and bonuses in my bank account at least monthly.

My cash back and loyalty rewards program should be explained to other like this:

CALL ME WHEN YOU KNOW THE ANSWER
800.477.2334